Unmarried pastors?
- Thread starter elnwood
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Oops! I forgot about mom, I love my mom.
Exactly Andrew. Guess I'll stop babysitting my granddaughterAll women are lust demons after all.
Okay granddaughters and nieces and all of those sorts too.
I don't mean it as certain people you can, certain people you can't, but rather that certain people you shouldn't (at least for longer than a few minutes).
TimV
Puritanboard Botanist
A few minutes? Or you'll get jumped I'm always reminded in these threads to be thankful I'm not as handsome as (evidently) most men, since when I've dropped off something for a friend who's not there and his wife invites me to stay for lunch I've never been jumped. The only awkwardness I've ever had was with Christian women in bad marriages, so I don't spend alone time with them.
The woman who's teaching me quickbooks comes over for 1.5 hours at a time, and my work station is in my bedroom. She's roughly my age and nice looking, single, etc... should I hire someone to sit in with us????? 'cause so far keeping things friendly and professional seems to be working fine. I mean she hasn't tried to sit in my lap yet
I'm always reminded in these threads to be thankful I'm not as handsome as (evidently) most men, since when I've dropped off something for a friend who's not there and his wife invites me to stay for lunch I've never been jumped. The only awkwardness I've ever had was with Christian women in bad marriages, so I don't spend alone time with them.The woman who's teaching me quickbooks comes over for 1.5 hours at a time, and my work station is in my bedroom. She's roughly my age and nice looking, single, etc... should I hire someone to sit in with us?????
'cause so far keeping things friendly and professional seems to be working fine. I mean she hasn't tried to sit in my lap yet 
Andres
Puritan Board Doctor
A few minutes? Or you'll get jumped
The woman who's teaching me quickbooks comes over for 1.5 hours at a time, and my work station is in my bedroom. She's roughly my age and nice looking, single, etc... should I hire someone to sit in with us?????
Tim, I understand exactly where you're coming from, but sometimes the issue of being alone with another woman isn't just the issue of temptation, but the issues of appearance and protection. It's unfortunate that we would have to guard against the views of others, but many times for some men it's easier to completely leave no place for people to talk. Second, the issue of proctection is protection against yourself. What if your friend accused you of something when you two were alone in your room? If it's just you two alone then it's her word against yours.
TimV
Puritanboard Botanist
Your point is good, Andres, but I'm not talking about a friend. Anyone with a business runs into the same situation. The woman advertised as professional services. The pretty Dutch lady who owns the wholesale nursery I buy from is the same, and I treat her the same as my male vendors. It's been ten years of doing that with her, and all the other male contractors do it too. Business is all about relationships, and although the conversation is naturally a bit different with women after my order I hang with her alone in her office and do small talk or 5 or 10 minutes, just like with the guy who sells me irrigation pipe.
Yes, you have to be careful, but you can't be a slave to fear. I know you're not saying that!
Yes, you have to be careful, but you can't be a slave to fear. I know you're not saying that!
Alan D. Strange
Puritan Board Senior
Dear Don:
I think that you've seen from the replies here that the answer to your question is "yes." There are men in our various NAPARC churches who are unmarried and serve as pastors. I can immediately call to mind several and they are all able shepherds.
Why are there not more? Two reasons, I think, also reflected on this thread: first, the gift of singleness is the exception rather than the rule so that you will always have fewer single men in the ministry. And then, secondly, there is the "bad reason," which is that some churches would never think of calling a single pastor. This is, of course, without any biblical basis, since marriage is not a biblical requirement to serve in any church office. Are there liabilities to an unmarried man? Yes, just as there are to a married man. Each can bring to the ministry something that the other cannot bring and thus there is room for, and there ought to be, both in the broader church.
And in the interest of full disclosure, it was a year after I was called that I married (I was 27 when married).
Peace,
Alan
I think that you've seen from the replies here that the answer to your question is "yes." There are men in our various NAPARC churches who are unmarried and serve as pastors. I can immediately call to mind several and they are all able shepherds.
Why are there not more? Two reasons, I think, also reflected on this thread: first, the gift of singleness is the exception rather than the rule so that you will always have fewer single men in the ministry. And then, secondly, there is the "bad reason," which is that some churches would never think of calling a single pastor. This is, of course, without any biblical basis, since marriage is not a biblical requirement to serve in any church office. Are there liabilities to an unmarried man? Yes, just as there are to a married man. Each can bring to the ministry something that the other cannot bring and thus there is room for, and there ought to be, both in the broader church.
And in the interest of full disclosure, it was a year after I was called that I married (I was 27 when married).
Peace,
Alan
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