Also marriage isn't about finding someone who likes you. It is about finding someone who loves God, where you love Him too. See Isaac and his wife and how they got together (Gn. 24).
Why did he love her? Because he married her and therefore he loved her (per the command in Scripture).
Is finding someone who loves God necessarily exclusive of finding someone who likes you? I do not think so. It seems that when looking for a spouse, a Christian should look for someone who both loves God and who loves him/her as well. I for one have no desire to marry a man who doesn't like me.
As to Rebecca and Isaac, wouldn't that be a case of a descriptive bible passage, rather than prescriptive?
I'd challenge you to find a godly example of a marriage or command in Scripture concerning marriage in which that marriage/relationship began by liking someone. I'd secondly challenge you to find a godly example of a marriage or command in Scripture concerning marriage in which that marriage/relationship began by loving God without necessarily starting with liking or loving the other person and ended in still loving God but also loving their spouse.
I don't know that we find a great deal of specific instruction on how to select a spouse in scripture. We do see a description of how Abraham and his servant selected a bride for Isaac. We also see descriptions of Jesus reclining when he ate. I do not believe the scripture necessarily expects us to follow all of the social customs recorded in it; for this reason I do not believe I am outside of the will of God in owning a dining room table and eating at it regularly. I would also note I can only think of one instance where God directed someone to marry a specific person (not counting Adam). I do not believe Hosea's marriage is a model we are all called to emulate.
There are imperatives in scripture about not being unequally yoked (i.e. marrying a fellow believer); there is some good advice to be found, particularly in Proverbs, as well. You very much sound as if you fully intend to follow such advice.
I do not believe God generally makes His will apparent. If we depended on him for specific "marching orders" day-to-day on all our decisions, it would short circuit the process of us learning to make godly decisions and seeking the wisdom He provides to aid us in making those decisions. We see plenty of NT examples where individuals make decisions they believe to be right without specific instruction. This is implied when Paul headed to Bithynia (presumably having made the decision to attempt to evangelize there and having set out for the destination).
Acts 16:7 And when they had come up to Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them.
As God had a different plan, He redirected Paul to Macedonia. This implies that, for many of the other cities where Paul evangelized, he did not have specific instructions to go there. Rather, he was making decisions which seemed compatible with his general instruction to preach the gospel.
My point is, do not expect specific instructions from God in this matter. He may choose to provide specific direction in this instance, but that does not seem to be the typical Christian experience. And, as Buckeye Girl wisely pointed out, finding someone who loves God is not mutually exclusive with finding someone who you like and who likes you. You
may marry a fellow believer, you are not commanded to marry someone
only because she is a fellow believer.
Let me relate my experience, which is not typical. I very much wanted to marry from my early 20s. I also could not seem to find Christian women interested in me. I didn't get a single date until I was 29, if my memory serves. And it was not for lack of trying! To me, it was particularly frustrating to hear Christians talk of the large number of Christian women apparently in need of Christian husbands, but not able to ever connect with any of them. One of the most painful experiences began when I was 18. I met a girl at a Campus Crusade meeting and we had a great conversation. So, I started trying to end up at events she was likely to attend. She seemed to like me as a friend, but simply wouldn't interact with me when I asked her to any date-like activities. As the school year ended (we probably knew each other 6 months), she made it clear she wanted to be friends, nothing more. I never learned why. I saw her occasionally on campus. The university had around 20,000 students, so not often. We never saw each other after graduation.
That was the first of many painful experiences trying to develop relationships with committed Christians. The words that kept going through my mind to God were “Why do you let everything I attempt blow up in my face? Painfully?!!” While I knew this attitude was not right, it was frustrating to have both my Christian family and friends pushing me to be married, but God appeared to make it impossible for me to make any progress in that direction. I’m sure I grew through this, and I’m confident it did and will work for my good. But it was not an easy place to be.
Fast forward around 12 years. I took a job around 800 miles from where I was an undergraduate. For Christmas, I travelled back to my hometown to stay with my family for a week. The city is around 250,000 people with many churches. My family attends a large Conservative Baptist church; Christmas eve sees three services, each filled to capacity with 1500 people. This girl I liked when I was a freshman in college sat directly behind me by 2 rows. She recognized me, although I didn’t recognize her when she came up after the service to say “hi.” We only had a few minutes to talk as our families were headed out, but we decided to get lunch before I returned to my new homestate. It didn’t take me long to figure out she’d either changed her mind, or lowered her standards. We caught up on the phone, over email, and during a few moderately brief visits. 6 months after that Christmas eve service, we were engaged, and we married two months later. We’ve been married five wonderful years, and I thank God every day for her.
Our reconnection was very improbable. She lived several hours from my hometown, and her family was visiting the church my family attended for the first time. Her appearance had changed enough I did not recognize her, although I obviously remembered her once she told me her name.
I lied, of course, when I said I never learned why this girl refused to date me. It wasn’t anything about me; she was afraid of men and dating at that time. And I do know that God did a lot in both of our lives during those years apart.
I do not believe my experience is typical. I’ve never met anyone with a very similar story. I relate it to let you know that God can and sometimes does arrange things like what He did for me and my wife. However, even though it happened for me, I do not believe it to be the norm. Most of the wonderful Christian couples I know have pretty ordinary stories about how they met and decided to marry. Their marriages seem every bit as much a blessing as mine.
Few people have as much reason as I do on this subject to Claim that God will direct them to the right spouse. Despite the fact that I believe that this happened to me (at least to an extent), God has not lead me in other decisions this way. I sincerely believe that not to be typical. I also wrote it to let you know I can emphasize with your situation. I wish I knew a magic formula to help you with the pain and frustration you’re experiencing. People who marry in their early twenties, or who do not strongly desire marriage for more than a decade have no idea what you’re going through.
Finally, I would politely suggest that if you do choose to take other member’s advice to marry someone before you like them, it would be best not to inform your bride of that fact, before or after you’re married.