Wow, Natan, is this ever interesting to me. During my devotions at roughly 3:00 a.m. this morning (my usual time) I was so reminded of how important this Psalm has been to me that I wrote about it to a godly friend, an elder in our church. Below is what I wrote. The To: names, Ed & Mary are me and my wife.
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[Introduction:
I dictated everything below into my phone. Corrections are minimal. There are several comments I added later [in brackets]. And, of course, Owen's paraphrase of Psalm 130 is added from his exposition.]
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To my dear brother [Ed], your good wife [Mary], and to your four fantastic kids,
My phone says it's 3:41 a.m., and I've already been up for several hours. I've been sitting out on my carport listening to the music I love and praising God from the bottom of my heart, tears of joy mixed with sorrow running down my face. And I just couldn't help but think of you and your family. Like me and all genuine Christians, I know you do "consider others better than yourself." And in my case, that indeed is true when I think of you and your family. I don't think I'm giving you any new news by saying what a remarkable and uncommonly blessed family you are in this day. Sinners all, but by grace, doing pretty good as a group. In this modern time, your family is a wonder to me. One of the most beautiful things in an otherwise ugly world. How I hope and pray that you always stay that way. Then someday, you will hear the words that I may never hear. "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."
I probably told you that Psalm 130 is a kind of theme for my life. Let's see how much of it I can remember.
1 Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O Lord.
2 Lord, hear my voice.
Let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplication.
3 Oh Lord, if thou shouldest, mark iniquities, oh Lord, who could stand.
4 But, there is forgiveness with thee that thou mayest be feared.
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait.
More than the watchmen wait for the morning,
I say, more than the watchmen that wait for the morning.
6 [missed completely]
7 Let Israel hope in the Lord,
for with Lord is plenteous redemption.
8 And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquity.
[I see I botched it up a bit]
I'm sure I botched it up a bit, but you can get the gist. John Owen's exposition of Psalm 130 was written by him after a long-term near-death illness. An illness he was pretty sure he would die from. Of all his works, this is the most personal, most intimate of all. It runs some 650 pages long in probably 9 pt font. But about 400 pages of that are devoted to verse 4.
"But, there is forgiveness with thee that thou mayest be feared."
I hope you will consider this 'required reading' sometime in your life. To me, the most crucial takeaway from it is his section on the rareness of the discovery of forgiveness among even professing Christians. He ranges from the light and easy to accept surface forgiveness. I mean those that say, maybe with a little smile on their face, "Sure, I sin once in a while, but I know that I have forgiveness from God. That's his job, isn't it?"
He explains the problems with believing there is even such a thing as forgiveness with God. Things like the law written on our hearts, whose only job it is to accuse us of our sin. For it knows only the law of Moses. In particular, he speaks of the conscience. He Likens the conscience to a faithful and formidable sentry on guard against all unauthorized thoughts and actions. Powerfully opposed to all violations, without the slightest hint that there is such a thing as forgiveness with God. It takes more than a couple of sermons to get him to leave his post. "I will NOT leave my post-compromise duty for some supposed 'forgiveness you talk about. The Lord of the world, my only captain, is the One I answer to. Unless He personally releases me, here I stand."
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Owen's paraphrase from volume 6 of his Works.
a paraphrase
Verses 1, 2.—O Lord, through my manifold sins and provocations, I have brought myself into great distresses. Mine iniquities are always before me, and I am ready to be overwhelmed with them, as with a flood of waters; for they have brought me into depths, wherein I am ready to be swallowed up. But yet, although my distress be great and perplexing, I do not, I dare not, utterly despond and cast away all hopes of relief or recovery. Nor do I seek unto any other remedy, way, or means of relief; but I apply myself to thee, Jehovah, to thee alone. And in this my application unto thee, the greatness and urgency of my troubles makes my soul urgent, earnest, and pressing in my supplications. Whilst I have no rest, I can give thee no rest. Oh, therefore, attend and hearken unto the voice of my crying and supplications!
Verse 3.—It is true, O Lord, thou God great and terrible, that if thou shouldst deal with me in this condition, with any man living, with the best of thy saints, according to the strict and exact tenor of the law, which first represents itself to my guilty conscience and troubled soul; if thou shouldst take notice of, observe, and keep in remembrance, mine, or their, or the iniquity of any one, to the end that thou mightst deal with them, and recompense unto them according to the sentence thereof, there would be, neither for me nor them, any the least expectation of deliverance. All flesh must fail before thee, and the spirits which thou hast made, and that to eternity; for who could stand before thee when thou shouldst so execute thy displeasure?
Verse 4.—But, O Lord, this is not absolutely and universally the state of things between thy Majesty and poor sinners; thou art in thy nature infinitely good and gracious, ready and free in the purposes of thy will to receive them. And there is such a blessed way made for the exercise of the holy inclinations and purposes of thy heart towards them, in the mediation and blood of thy dear Son, that they have assured foundations of concluding and believing that there is pardon and forgiveness with thee for them, and which, in the way of thine appointments, they may be partakers of. This way, therefore, will I, with all that fear thee, persist in. I will not give over, leave thee, or turn from thee, through my fears, discouragements, and despondencies; but will abide constantly in the observation of the worship which thou hast prescribed, and the performance of the obedience which thou dost require, having great encouragements so to do.
Verse 5.—And herein, upon the account of the forgiveness that is with thee, O Lord, do I wait with all patience, quietness, and perseverance. In this work is my whole soul engaged, even in an earnest expectation of thy approach unto me in a way of grace and mercy. And for my encouragement therein hast thou given out unto me a blessed word of grace, a faithful word of promise, whereon my hope is fixed.
Verse 6.—Yea, in the performance and discharge of this duty, my soul is intent upon thee, and in its whole frame turned towards thee, and that with such diligence and watchfulness in looking out after every way and means of thy appearance, of the manifestation of thyself, and coming unto me, that I excel therein those who, with longing desire, heedfulness, and earnest expectation, do wait and watch for the appearance of the morning; and that either that they may rest from their night watches, or have light for the duties of thy worship in the temple, which they are most delighted in.
Verses 7, 8.—Herein have I found that rest, peace, and satisfaction unto my own soul, that I cannot but invite and encourage others in the like condition to take the same course with me. Let, then, all the Israel of God, all that fear him, learn this of me, and from my experience. Be not hasty in your distresses, despond not, despair not, turn not aside unto other remedies; but hope in the Lord: for I can now, in an especial manner, give testimony unto this, that there is mercy with him suited unto your relief. Yea, whatever your distress be, the redemption that is with him is so bounteous, plenteous, and unsearchable, that the undoubted issue of your performance of this duty will be, that you shall be delivered from the guilt of all your sins and the perplexities of all your troubles.
Owen, J. (n.d.). The works of John Owen (W. H. Goold, Ed.; Vol. 6, pp. 327–329). T&T Clark.