Non-Sabbatarian Friends

[erickinho1bra]

Hello brothers and sisters in Christ!

I go to a non-Sabbatarian church but my wife and I became convinced a few months ago the Sabbath is a blessed commandment for all ages to keep. We want to share about the joy of this new found conviction without coming off like we are condemning others for having different theological convictions. How would you guys recommend we interact with non-Sabbatarian friends?

Also, how do you guys honor the Lord on the Sabbath when having friends or family over who are either unbelievers or don't think the Sabbath needs to be a day devoted to worship (and therefore talk about work, their hobbies, and other non-worship-related topics)?

 

[Blood-Bought Pilgrim]

This can be tricky-- even in the confessional churches I've been in most people aren't sabbatarian. My approach has been primarily to seek to honor the Sabbath ourselves and enable/encourage others to do so by inviting them to join in activities that are fitting for the day. I generally don't try to talk to them about the theology of it unless that naturally comes up in conversation.

 

[Jeri Tanner]

Also, how do you guys honor the Lord on the Sabbath when having friends or family over who are either unbelievers or don't think the Sabbath needs to be a day devoted to worship (and therefore talk about work, their hobbies, and other non-worship-related topics)?

From the Westminster Directory of Private Worship:

V. Let no idler, who hath no particular calling, or vagrant person under pretence of a calling, be suffered to perform worship in families, to or for the same; seeing persons tainted with errors, or aiming at division, may be ready (after that manner) to creep into houses, and lead captive silly and unstable souls.

VI. At family-worship, a special care is to be had that each family keep by themselves; neither requiring, inviting, nor admitting persons from divers families, unless it be those who are lodged with them, or at meals, or otherwise with them upon some lawful occasion.

VII. Whatsoever have been the effects and fruits of meetings of persons of divers families in the times of corruption or trouble, (in which cases many things are commendable, which otherwise are not tolerable,) yet, when God hath blessed us with peace and purity of the gospel, such meetings of persons of divers families (except in cases mentioned in these Directions) are to be disapproved, as tending to the hinderance of the religious exercise of each family by itself, to the prejudice of the publick ministry, to the rending of the families of particular congregations, and (in progress of time) of the whole kirk. Besides many offences which may come thereby, to the hardening of the hearts of carnal men, and grief of the godly.

I think this gives a good indication of the mind of our forefathers on having people into our homes for socializing on the Lord's day, when the whole day is to be taken up in the duties of worship.

8. This Sabbath is then kept holy unto the Lord, when men, after a due preparing of their hearts, and ordering of their common affairs beforehand, do not only observe an holy rest all the day from their own works, words, and thoughts, about their worldly employments and recreations; but also are taken up the whole time in the public and private exercises of his worship, and in the duties of necessity and mercy.

 

[Blood-Bought Pilgrim]

From the Westminster Directory of Private Worship:

V. Let no idler, who hath no particular calling, or vagrant person under pretence of a calling, be suffered to perform worship in families, to or for the same; seeing persons tainted with errors, or aiming at division, may be ready (after that manner) to creep into houses, and lead captive silly and unstable souls.

VI. At family-worship, a special care is to be had that each family keep by themselves; neither requiring, inviting, nor admitting persons from divers families, unless it be those who are lodged with them, or at meals, or otherwise with them upon some lawful occasion.

VII. Whatsoever have been the effects and fruits of meetings of persons of divers families in the times of corruption or trouble, (in which cases many things are commendable, which otherwise are not tolerable,) yet, when God hath blessed us with peace and purity of the gospel, such meetings of persons of divers families (except in cases mentioned in these Directions) are to be disapproved, as tending to the hinderance of the religious exercise of each family by itself, to the prejudice of the publick ministry, to the rending of the families of particular congregations, and (in progress of time) of the whole kirk. Besides many offences which may come thereby, to the hardening of the hearts of carnal men, and grief of the godly.

I can see why some of these recommendations would be made-- it could certainly be dangerous for a man to be going around to homes claiming to be specially called by God, leading people astray and usurping the role of the pastor. However, I confess I don't totally understand the intention of the divines on the other points. It seems to me more just a desire to maintain tight control by the established church. Perhaps as one too influenced by American Evangelicalism, I would rejoice to see congregants getting together to study Scripture and pray, particularly if leaders or wise laypeople from the congregation are involved. I would also rejoice to see congregants getting together in general, becoming more deeply intertwined in each others lives and sharing one another's joys and burdens.

I wonder if there are other societal factors which influenced the Assembly's directions in this area?

 

[alexanderjames]

Yes, when it comes to having people over, do it another day if they do not share your convictions.
Generally, people will notice your curious habits over time and ask you why you don't participate in various activities on Sundays, at which point you can explain.
I try to emphasise both the fourth commandment as well as the great blessing observing the day has been for me personally.

 

[Jeri Tanner]

I can see why some of these recommendations would be made-- it could certainly be dangerous for a man to be going around to homes claiming to be specially called by God, leading people astray and usurping the role of the pastor. However, I confess I don't totally understand the intention of the divines on the other points. It seems to me more just a desire to maintain tight control by the established church. Perhaps as one too influenced by American Evangelicalism, I would rejoice to see congregants getting together to study Scripture and pray, particularly if leaders or wise laypeople from the congregation are involved. I would also rejoice to see congregants getting together in general, becoming more deeply intertwined in each others lives and sharing one another's joys and burdens.

I wonder if there are other societal factors which influenced the Assembly's directions in this area?

I just think they had a good understanding of human nature, for one thing. I think they were protecting their members from the temptation inherent in having guests in the home. The directory was addressing the family's times of worship, which is a holy time. Maybe it was due to the fact that the churches were like parrish churches and most people in that parrish were church members, but not necessarily converted. It seems to be like a general "fencing" idea for the spiritual protection and benefit of everyone involved, with applications and food for thought for today.

 

[NaphtaliPress]

The directory for private worship is not a Westminster assembly document but came out of a particular concern some had about conventicles; for some reason it was fine when Blair and others had them in Ireland but there was a controversy (can't remember) and Blair apparently drafted the makings of this directory. At least Baillie says it was Blair; Blair never mentions it in his autobio.

 

[py3ak]

From the Westminster Directory of Private Worship:

V. Let no idler, who hath no particular calling, or vagrant person under pretence of a calling, be suffered to perform worship in families, to or for the same; seeing persons tainted with errors, or aiming at division, may be ready (after that manner) to creep into houses, and lead captive silly and unstable souls.

VI. At family-worship, a special care is to be had that each family keep by themselves; neither requiring, inviting, nor admitting persons from divers families, unless it be those who are lodged with them, or at meals, or otherwise with them upon some lawful occasion.

VII. Whatsoever have been the effects and fruits of meetings of persons of divers families in the times of corruption or trouble, (in which cases many things are commendable, which otherwise are not tolerable,) yet, when God hath blessed us with peace and purity of the gospel, such meetings of persons of divers families (except in cases mentioned in these Directions) are to be disapproved, as tending to the hinderance of the religious exercise of each family by itself, to the prejudice of the publick ministry, to the rending of the families of particular congregations, and (in progress of time) of the whole kirk. Besides many offences which may come thereby, to the hardening of the hearts of carnal men, and grief of the godly.

I think this gives a good indication of the mind of our forefathers on having people into our homes for socializing on the Lord's day, when the whole day is to be taken up in the duties of worship.

8. This Sabbath is then kept holy unto the Lord, when men, after a due preparing of their hearts, and ordering of their common affairs beforehand, do not only observe an holy rest all the day from their own works, words, and thoughts, about their worldly employments and recreations; but also are taken up the whole time in the public and private exercises of his worship, and in the duties of necessity and mercy.

This really isn't about hospitality, it's about preventing people from taking over at family worship and running things there in a way prejudicial to public worship. In other words, putting things together this way is dehistoricizing them:
1. The Sabbath is a day wholly taken up in worship;
2. Participation of non-family in family worship is prohibited;
3. Therefore hospitality on Sundays is not allowed.

Erick, cultivate the art of turning the conversation in a spiritual direction. E.g., if someone tells you about problems at work you can ask about how to pray for those things. Now that conversation has been transposed into a more fruitful direction.

 

[Grant]

My 2 cents: Firstly, I agree with Rueben. Being intentional about hospitality can be wonderful on the Lord’s Day. My wife and I try to be intentional about inviting another family over for a meal and spiritual discussion from our congregation to help foster relationship. Often, this can be easily done without removing family worship from the Lord’s Day and can often times be used for acts of mercy for families that be going through difficult seasons (Christian and non).

We attend a Church overseas and are the only sabbatarians that I am aware of. We politely decline invites to go out to restaurants. However, we have routinely hosted and been hosted by non-sabbatarian families that still have a great zeal to have God honoring discussions. I also would not shy away from inviting unbelievers over, but be intentional with the time to get to know others and to share about yourselves for the purpose of trust, and learning things to pray for regarding those the Lord pits in your path. Have some barriers set up to ensure your times of public worship and private devotions are protected and don’t allow “hosting” to be the focus of the day. Further, have some brief explanations thought throw if a lunch yields an invite to engage in an activity not appropriate for the Lord’s Day.

 

[MyCrows]

We attend a Church overseas

That's quite the commute...

 

[Ben Zartman]

The only people I have over on Lord's Days are people from our church, or visitors to the church. Not because I couldn't have others, but because shortly after dinner, we must head out again to evening service. On Sundays without two services, we return home too late for guests (there's a whole meal, then prayer meeting). So, it's providentially a non-issue.
The most important thing for the OP is not to trumpet your new conviction from the housetops. Be low-key about it toward others, keep a good conscience, and they'll know without you telling them that the Sabbath is something different to you. Then maybe they'll ask.

 

[Northern Crofter]

The directory for private worship is not a Westminster assembly document but came out of a particular concern some had about conventicles; for some reason it was fine when Blair and others had them in Ireland but there was a controversy (can't remember) and Blair apparently drafted the makings of this directory. At least Baillie says it was Blair; Blair never mentions it in his autobio.

Regardless of whether or not it was produced by the Westminster Assembly, the Act for observing the Scots' General Assembly's Directions for Secret and Private Worship (which later came to be called "The Directory for Family Worship") was added, along with other additions, to the rest of the standards adopted in 1647, wasn't it? If so, that would predate the widespread use of conventicles during the Killing Times, and it would be binding on those who hold to the Standards as adopted by the CoS. Still, I don't think these directions are as exclusive as perhaps portrayed - note the bold items with my comments in italics:

From the Westminster Directory of Private Worship:

V. Let no idler, who hath no particular calling, or vagrant person under pretence of a calling, be suffered to perform worship in families, to or for the same; seeing persons tainted with errors, or aiming at division, may be ready (after that manner) to creep into houses, and lead captive silly and unstable souls. This doesn't prevent them from being present, it just prevents them from them from leading it. With regard to the OP, invite the non-Sabbatarian and forsake their idleness by including them in the work of family worship.

VI. At family-worship, a special care is to be had that each family keep by themselves; neither requiring, inviting, nor admitting persons from divers families, unless it be those who are lodged with them, or at meals, or otherwise with them upon some lawful occasion. Fellowship on the Lord's Day is lawful, especially if it is an act of mercy such as providing food and lodging for small children to nap between services for a family who lives far away from the place of worship. I know my family appreciated this when we were travelling over an hour to worship with small children.

VII. Whatsoever have been the effects and fruits of meetings of persons of divers families in the times of corruption or trouble, (in which cases many things are commendable, which otherwise are not tolerable,) yet, when God hath blessed us with peace and purity of the gospel, such meetings of persons of divers families (except in cases mentioned in these Directions) are to be disapproved, as tending to the hinderance of the religious exercise of each family by itself, to the prejudice of the publick ministry, to the rending of the families of particular congregations, and (in progress of time) of the whole kirk. Besides many offences which may come thereby, to the hardening of the hearts of carnal men, and grief of the godly. I think the overall warning in these directions is against giving false teachers a "pulpit" in your home, especially in a time of declension or a place where reformation is lacking. It is also warning about people substituting private for public worship ("Well, we just joined such-and-such a family for family worship, so we can skip evening public worship."). I think these directions are still a good warning - containing a lot of wisdom and a call for discernment - but I don't see them as hard and fast rules.

 

[NaphtaliPress]

Regardless of whether or not it was produced by the Westminster Assembly, the Act for observing the Scots' General Assembly's Directions for Secret and Private Worship (which later came to be called "The Directory for Family Worship") was added, along with other additions, to the rest of the standards adopted in 1647, wasn't it? If so, that would predate the widespread use of conventicles during the Killing Times, and it would be binding on those who hold to the Standards as adopted by the CoS. Still, I don't think these directions are as exclusive as perhaps portrayed - note the bold items with my comments in italics:

I don't have time to find where I delved into this, but there was background (controversy) to the directory for family worship (first titled that in the Dunlop edition of 1619 I believe) and as I say there were such private meetings held in Ireland and also in Scotland prior to 1638. I'm not questioning its status, but explaining there is background to the directory. If I have time I'll try to find my research to explain more fully.

 

[Ed Walsh]

Also, how do you guys honor the Lord on the Sabbath when having friends or family over who are either unbelievers or don't think the Sabbath needs to be a day devoted to worship (and therefore talk about work, their hobbies, and other non-worship-related topics)?

Well, I found it relatives don't usually like to come over on the Lord's day very much. I'm just not much fun.

Whatever your thoughts on Christmas, and similar events, one thing is for darn sure, the 25th of December is a sacred day to many people.

But about Christmas Day. A number of years ago I made a firm decree in our home that when December 25th fell on a Lord's Day, that was going too far. Everybody had extra time here visiting at the holiday. No one missed any of the festivities. But oh my goodness, when I first told them it would be on a Monday which is the 26th that if there were any presents to open that's when it would be done. I thought there would be an insurrection. There was actually. More distant relatives would call and say a terrible it was what they thought I was doing.

Also, how do you guys honor the Lord on the Sabbath when having friends or family over who are either unbelievers or don't think the Sabbath needs to be a day devoted to worship (and therefore talk about work, their hobbies, and other non-worship-related topics)?

 

[Northern Crofter]

I don't have time to find where I delved into this, but there was background (controversy) to the directory for family worship (first titled that in the Dunlop edition of 1619 I believe) and as I say there were such private meetings held in Ireland and also in Scotland prior to 1638. I'm not questioning its status, but explaining there is background to the directory. If I have time I'll try to find my research to explain more fully.

I would be curious about the background - if you find anything I would be interested but don't make it a top priority! I am unfamiliar with the controversy in Ireland, but the SL&C does refer to "the deplorable state of the Church and kingdom of Ireland" in that day!

 

[Mrs_soup]

This has been one of those things that I’ve noticed people are most receptive to when they can observe the way you and your family follow it without beating them over the head with your convictions.

Something as simple as turning down an activity you’re invited to while including a loving explanation for why you are can hopefully spark curiosity and conversation.

I’ve found this to be true when it comes to convictions surrounding typical holidays that my family and I choose to celebrate differently (or not at all). Rather than pointing out our differences blatantly, we attempt to set a loving example and rejoice when others inquire about our choices so that we have an opportunity to share the convictions the Lord has brought us to.

The other thing I would say is that people will come to know your practice as something different the more you actively engage in hospitality towards them. Invite them to your house for lunch, actively spark conversations centered around Christ, etc. It will become evident to others!