Friendship

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tabrooks

Puritan Board Freshman
What are some good resources on the topic of Friendship? I would appreciate any sermon links or books that you have found particularly helpful. Thank you.
 
What is friendship? How does the Bible deal with this concept? The concepts of brother and neighbor come to mind, along with family relationships, whether church or domestic. And then there is the concept of hospitality. I am just trying to brainstorm some Biblical terms that might help us.

I just searched for "friend" in the KJV and there are many instances. I wonder why I didn't think there would be that many.

Good question, brother.
 
Notes from Biblical Love and Friendship, Part 1 (sermon from Pastor Sevastio)

BIBLICAL LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP:
I've taken a few notes on first sermon (enjoyed it -- thank you). These are in general accurate (my notes), but not always word for word and I certainly just included portions of what he said. It proved to be a helpful sermon.

[PART 1]
Relationships within the kingdom are a blessing

I. Biblical Definitions of Godly Friendship

Terms used in Bible
Friend 55 times
58 Friends
A few more times friendly, etc.

A companion/confidant.

Rea (Hebrew). Common word. An intimate association.
Exodus 33:11 describes relationship Moses has with God.
11 The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.

There was something about the way that God and Moses interacted, that you would know, if you would have the ability to observe it, that you would know they were friends.

Friendships are face to face, intimate. Closeness

Deuteronomy 13:6 – don’t let close friends lead you astray. KJV: “Friend, which is as thine own soul”
6If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;

Only a few other people could be spoken of in this way

Ahab: derived from Hebrew word for love. Most emotional word used for friend in Bible
Proverbs 18 – a friend who sticks closer than a brother

Yadah – Know, to know. An intimate. Somebody who knows what makes you tick.

NT Words
Philos: to be friendly with somebody. A well-wisher. Someone concerned for your good. Word used in John 15
13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

Hetaheeros: a comrade, a partner. Used in a casual way. Matthew 22:12
12'Friend,' he asked, 'how did you get in here without wedding clothes?' The man was speechless.
Also used more strongly – companions, those whom we spend time with, those that are closest to us

Pietho: idea of being persuaded, giving heart to someone, trusting someone. Only time used: acts 12:20

Idios: one’s own. Somebody that belongs to me. Acts 24:23
23He ordered the centurion to keep Paul under guard but to give him some freedom and permit his friends to take care of his needs.

II. The Essence of Godly Friendship
A. LOVE.

Proverbs 17:17
17 A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.

What is a true friend, a godly friend? How will you know them?
Love unceasing. Always there. This is the disposition we have towards our friend. No matter what comes our way, their heart is toward you. If the world comes tumbling around you, tragedy – they will be with you. Not just somebody that you do something with. (not pouring out our heart to each other)
Other friends: this is the essence of friendship. There is a love and a consistency of love that marks that relationship. Someone that has you upon their heart (and vice versa).
Their sorrows are happening to you. They love you for yourself. They will not leave when hardship comes.
A brother is born for adversity. It’s as though God places them on earth for you for your hardship. It’s almost as though the reason God gave them life is to be a help to you.
Did you ever wonder why Job didn’t tell his friends to get lost? They were friends. They were there for him. Job 2:11
11 When Job's three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.

These men did really love Job. Their friend was hurt in an unfathomable way. They came to be with him. They didn’t leave him alone.

B. COMPANIONSHIP
One who is near you. One who is with you. Physical proximity. This is not always going to be the case in this mobile culture.
When real friendship has developed, there is that desire for face to face. A desire to be nearby.

Support
Ecclesiastes 4:9
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
Solomon rebukes the idea of isolation. “How much more money could I make without children, or without being married?”
Solomon wants to tear them away from their base motivations and give them a higher motivation. A person laboring without a partner may indeed make more money, but what will they really have gained. What will happen when they fall and there is no one there?
Hebrews 12:12-13
12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.13"Make level paths for your feet,"[a] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
When we love somebody, it’s more than just saying “I’m going to pray for you”. “Be warmed and be filled”
They need our prayers. But sometimes they need more than our prayers.
More than a card. They need you to be there: to strengthen them, encourage them, to sit with them.

C. LOYALTY.
Proverbs 17 a friend loves at all times
Times our loyalty to God and own souls will supersede our loyalty to our own friends. Those who drag down your own soul. Bring to false doctrine. To spread poison or gossip or bitterness and all of the rest.
But having said that, know a true friend by their loyalty to you.

Jonathan and David. David was falsely accused, falsely persecuted. Jonathan had lies poured into his ears all of the time by his father, but he refused to believe the lies. They loved one another and would be true to one another.

D. SANCTIFICATION
Proverbs 27:17
17 As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.

Close rubbing/interacting. We can fool ourselves when we are by ourselves. If we were on an island, we would think “it’s just amazing how sanctified I am. I’m a wonderful person. I don’t know anybody who is better than me.” However, when we are with other people, we are confronted. In the process we are sharpened. Do not isolate yourself
NIV: Proverbs 18:1
1 An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends;
he defies all sound judgment.

NKJV:
1 A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire;
He rages against all wise judgment.

Good solid open relationships where there is love and support, growth and holiness should follow

We should rebuke and exhort one another
Proverbs 27:6
6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses.

“friend” here is one of the most affectionate terms used in Bible.

The person that does this loves you the most – affection, coupled with principle. A warm, affectionate love that prompts one friend to seek and to desire the growth and holiness of another friend. They are faithful to one another in the most important areas of life. Encourage us to Christlikeness. To see ourselves as we really are.
You know that I love you, but there are these areas in your life that are unbiblical and a hindrance to your witness. I need in faithfulness to bring these to you.

E. SACRIFICE
Greater love has no one than this than to lay down his life for his friends.
Friends are known by laying their lives – not necessarily physically. Paul: I die daily. If you are going to be a friend to other/a blessing to others – it will cost you. Your time, resources, emotional energy.

Friend. Be this kind of person. Strengthen, encourage others in their walk with the Lord.
 
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